The Bite Size Podcast with Lorayne Michaels

When You Feel Like You're Starting All Over Again, Remember This

• Lorayne

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After a month of silence, I'm pulling back the curtain on why I stepped away from everything—my social media, business, and even my familiar hairstyle. This raw, unfiltered conversation dives into what happens when you feel like you're rebuilding from scratch...again.

The journey of starting over often feels like failure. I've been there—investing in coaches that weren't the right fit, pursuing opportunities that didn't align with my values, and battling the disappointment when things don't unfold as planned. But what if these apparent setbacks are actually redirecting us toward something better?

During my quiet season, I discovered the freedom that comes with holding my plans loosely. By surrendering control and seeking God's guidance, unexpected doors opened—including finding a biblically-rooted functional medicine practice perfectly aligned with my skills and values. The messy middle became a sacred space for healing, nervous system regulation, and rediscovering simple joys like raising chickens and baking.

Whether you're questioning your direction, feeling stuck in transition, or navigating disappointment, this episode offers practical wisdom for the journey forward. Learn how to discern what deserves your energy, regulate your nervous system during chaos, and embrace divine timing even when progress feels slow. You'll walk away with scriptural anchors that sustained me and three actionable steps to move forward with confidence when everything feels uncertain.

Join me in this conversation about rebuilding with new wisdom, discovering who your true supporters are, and remembering that you were divinely created for a divine purpose—no mistake in you.

Where you can find me:
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Email Me: LorayneMichaels22@gmail.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Bite Size Podcast. I'm your host, lorraine Michaels, former EMT and nursing assistant, now business owner and wild entrepreneur. I walked away from over 15 years in medicine to pursue my passion and my God-given talents. Now I get the honor of helping other women discover their passions and purpose. If you're feeling stuck in life, unsure where to go or what to do, welcome. If you're exactly where you want to be great, you're welcome here too. If you have faced any kind of hardship or setback, you have found a safe place here. In other words, no matter who you are or what you've been through or what you're going through, this is the space for you. On the Bite Size podcast, we'll discuss life, business and faith. There's something for everyone. So grab a cup of coffee and something to take notes with, because there will definitely be things you won't want to forget. What's up, friends? Welcome back to another episode of the Bite Size Podcast. I'm your host, lorraine Michaels, and it has been a minute.

Speaker 1:

I know some of you might be wondering did I stop my podcast? What am I doing? You know a lot has changed. In October I kind of, you know, stopped a lot of things and revamped a lot of things, and so this week's episode I really want to bring the realness, the rawness, coming from an encouraging place. I'm sure you can hear my chicks in the background because I'm recording and all of a sudden they want to start fighting. Yes, I have chicks. We have three sets because chicken math is real. I have one set that is six weeks, one set that's five weeks and the set that you hear is three weeks and for some reason they want to go crazy right now. But anyways, that has been a little bit, a little part of why I've been gone.

Speaker 1:

But this episode I really want to focus on when you feel like you're starting all over again and this episode is going to be real and raw and hopefully encouraging. But I really want to talk about these moments when you feel like you're rebuilding from scratch yet again. You're rebuilding from scratch yet again and I just want to share some personal stories but also give you some hope and some encouragement about how God has been moving and what it really looks like to trust Him through the messy middle, to trust Him through the in-between, the waiting, the unknown. So, yeah, what is starting over, really? And I really it as a learning lesson and not starting or, excuse me, you are starting over, but you're starting from scratch, having learned something. It's not a failure, because before I used to look at it as a failure, like I tried something it didn't work, so that means I failed because it didn't work.

Speaker 1:

But through, you know, personal development, through counseling, through life and wisdom, it has taught me that I learned something I'll never forget my very first coach I got. It was a big investment for me at the time and I went with someone that I knew and so there was already that trust factor there, rather than going with someone that I didn't know or that maybe would be an expert in the field that I was trying to pursue. Instead, I went with someone that I knew because of the trust factor, but it was not a good fit at all whatsoever and at first I was like what a waste of money this was. And it was a huge investment for me. And you know, over time I learned that it wasn't a waste of money because I learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about um coaching styles and what I want and what I don't want. I learned, you know, that if I looked at it as a fail and if I looked at it as a waste of money, then I wouldn't have gotten anything out of it and then it would be a fail, it would have been a waste of money. So, learning to flip that perspective into something positive, because I did learn a lot. Like I said, I just rattled off the things that I learned.

Speaker 1:

So starting over doesn't mean you failed. You learned something. You learned what didn't work. Right Through my whole coaching career I have learned a lot, and front-facing I would have been like, oh my gosh, I failed at X, y, z.

Speaker 1:

But I've learned. I've learned what I don't want. I've learned how I don't want to coach. I've learned lots of things. So starting over is not a failure.

Speaker 1:

And so what have I learned during this quiet time? I have learned that my plan is not necessarily the best plan. It's good to have goals and it's good to set out a roadmap Absolutely and it's good to have a plan in place of what you want, what you want to achieve, whether it's business, whether it's school, whether it's in a relationship, whatever it may be. I have learned to hold my plans loosely, because my plan doesn't always prevail, my plan doesn't always work out. I serve a God who knows better, who knows bigger, who sees the future, who knows my future and has a better plan for my future and for you. God knows Jeremiah 29, 11, the most iconic verse, for I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you, plans to help you, not to hurt you, not to harm you. And so sometimes we forget about that, sometimes we forget that God is in control and his plan is the plan that is going to happen, no matter what. And so we get so stuck and hung up on our plan and what it should be and how our life should be, that we hold so tightly to it that when it doesn't work out, we're devastated. And so it took me a while to realize that if it doesn't work out, that's okay, because God's plan is better than my plan, plain and simple.

Speaker 1:

And so, during this season of quiet back in October, when I released everything, chopped my hair off, got rid of my social media, got rid of my social media, got rid of my website, got rid of everything, and I was like, okay, I'm done, I'm done, like this is just not working, I'm done. I tried, it failed, I'm done. And through some wise counsel and through a lot of quiet time. I have realized that this is going to unfold the way God has it unfold and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with what that looks like. During the quiet season. It allowed me to heal tremendously some pain and hurt that was going on in my life personally. It allowed me to I don't want to say focus on my marriage, but I've talked openly about that about the rough season that we had and unfortunately that has not worked out the way I anticipated. But again, I had to let that go and I had to give that over to God and ultimately what's going to happen is God's plan, not mine, and I'm not going to stress about it and I'm not going to control it and I'm not going to try and force something that is just not happening. And so I focused on me and maybe that's what you need to do. Maybe you're in a season where you're trying to control a situation and maybe you just need to release control and focus inward and get in that still quiet season and really reflect and maybe go to counseling, maybe seek professional help and because that has helped me tremendously, because another person that has schooling and a degree in an area where they can help you and see things from a different perspective. And if you're a believer, you know going to a Christian counselor who is going to point you back to the word and ask you questions that will get you to reflect inwardly, and a tremendous amount of healing in journaling, and so that quiet time has allowed me to be at peace with what I have and where I'm at.

Speaker 1:

I was working at a restaurant and I was working nights and weekends and it was really tough. And then so I really wanted to get into functional medicine and I found a functional medicine clinic and I was so like I'm going to make this work. This is an open door. I really want this to work because in my mind I was like it's a foot in the door and I can work in this functional medicine clinic and I'll be able to utilize my skills and coaching and teaching and personal training and all the things, all the you know skills that I have, that I've acquired. I can help this practice.

Speaker 1:

Well, the practice that I was at did not align with me and my values and it just really wasn't working. And not any fault of their own and I'm not saying that it was bad, but it just didn't align. But I was so focused on what I wanted about being in a functional medicine clinic that I started to let go of what really mattered most to me, and so sometimes we have to let go of things, and I've talked about this before. It's not quitting, it's letting go of something that is not serving you and that is not meant for you to create space for something that is for you, to create space for something that God has for you, and if I didn't let go of that, I wouldn't have found the place that I'm at now.

Speaker 1:

Now I'm in a functional medicine clinic who is biblically rooted and faith-based and they do and practice what they preach and they do the things that are in alignment with you know what I believe and it is very much um, I don't want to say biohacking, but it's the medicine that I have been dying to practice for so long and is in complete alignment with my skillset and my certifications and everything that I've done leading up to now. So I want to encourage you that if you are in that hard time of not knowing if you're in the right spot, I want you to get quiet and really journal that need to be in my life and remove the people that aren't supposed to be in my life. And if I'm supposed to do said thing in business or entrepreneurship or job, whatever it is, bring it to me and put it in my spirit so that I know. And if I'm not supposed to do it, take the desire away. And so I really focused on that and I stayed in the word and I prayed about it and, lo and behold, I let go of the thing that wasn't serving me and that wasn't meant for me and it opened the door to something that is perfectly aligned and I'm so excited for that.

Speaker 1:

And so I'm still in that quiet season because I'm not necessarily doing the thing that I have that burning desire in my heart to do. But I have to be patient. It's part of that messy middle and I have to wait and hold loosely my plans and my goals. Bring them to God and talk to God about it, about your plans. Don't give up on your dream, don't give up on your goal. You know that quiet time allowed me to get chicks to have, you know time at home with my animals, and it has allowed me to do the things that I love baking again. And I'm not going to say working out, because that has been a struggle for me, because I actually am in the middle of in a season of working two jobs and trying to find a new normal and find a new balance. And I'm transitioning out of the restaurant because, if you follow me on social media, I've talked about I'm pretty much working two full time jobs seven days a week, because the restaurant you have to work the weekends and I have a Monday through Friday job and so fitness I've had to figure out how to fit in.

Speaker 1:

Here's the thing you will make time for the things and the people that matter most to you, and those people will realize it. For example, I have realized that I am not a priority to certain people and certain people make time for the things that they want to do, the people that they want to be with, and I'm not one of them and I have had to accept that and that's okay. I'm not saying you know right or wrong, but what you don't nurture, what you don't, water, dies. So if a relationship dies, I hope it doesn't come as a shock to certain people, but anyways, so how to get back up mentally, spiritually, physically, when you feel like you're starting all over again. Don't let it keep you down. I'm not going to say don't let it discourage you, because, yes, obviously, when something doesn't work out the way you thought it was going to, it is disappointing. Right, and allow yourself to feel that. Allow yourself to feel that disappointment, but you got to get back up mentally, spiritually and physically, physically. I talk about this all the time.

Speaker 1:

Move your body, move your mood. If you're sedentary and you sit on the couch like a slouch, you're not moving your body, you're not exercising. You're going to get down, you're going to start thinking spiraling. Your health is going to decline. When you get sick, it's going to be worse than it should be. Um, when you get hurt, it's going to be harder than it should be. And then spiritually I mean that ties into it. Also you're not going to want to spend time with the Lord, you're not going to feel encouraged, be in the word, and then it's going to hurt you. Mentally. You're going to start to be sad, start to be down on yourself, start to be critical. So all of these tie in, all of these are in alignment and they work off of each other. So move your body, move your mood. Make sure you're spending time, journaling, praying in scripture, because that's where you're going to find the encouragement, that's where you're going to find the answers and that is what's going to help you continue to keep it moving.

Speaker 1:

Speaking of scripture, some of the ones that have helped me in this time obviously the Jeremiah 29, 11, you know, and also it's not. It doesn't stop with 11. I'm going to bring it up because so many people just stop there. So the Lord says for I know I have, for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you, you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. That's the part I really want you to remember. It's not just that God, the God of the universe, has good plans for you. You have to seek him and you have to seek him with all of your heart. You have to call upon him, you have to talk to him and have a relationship with him. So that's something that has been really important and that has kept me going.

Speaker 1:

Another one is Colossians. Hold on. I think it's Colossians 3.24. Let me see, I'm pretty sure it's 3.24, but I don't want to mess it up. That is not it, bear with me it's whatever you do, do it unto the Lord and not to man, colossians 3.23. Didn't I say that? And whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance for you serve.

Speaker 1:

So the reason why that one was and has been important to me is because sometimes, when I'm working a 9-to-5 job or whatever, whatever our job, it stinks and it takes me away from the things I love most, and sometimes you're dealing with people that are not nice or doing things that stink, and so I have to constantly remember whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to man. So I'm not working for man, I'm working for God, and so that helps me endure the suck, if you will, endure the suck, if you will. And then another one that I absolutely love is the Lord is. It's in my women's Bible, so it says the Lord is with her. She will not fail. It is Psalm 46, five. God is with her. She will not be moved. I have a mug that says it also, and that has been something that has helped me. So much is.

Speaker 1:

I have to remember and keep going and remember that God is with me. I'm not going to fail. My plans might quote unquote fail because it didn't turn out the way I thought it should or would, but God is still with me, god is still good and whatever his plan is is going to happen. So some practical steps for you, for the woman who feels stuck or behind I've kind of gone over it, but three practical steps for the person, because, I don't know, maybe there's some men listening.

Speaker 1:

If you feel stuck or behind, just remember God's timing is not our timing. We might think that something should be done within a month, three months, a year, whatever. God's timing is not our timing, and so what might feel like an eternity to us is but a second to God and to keep going and to keep the faith and to keep communicating with God, asking for wisdom and discernment. So remember that timing is not in your hands, it's in God's hands to stay rooted in your faith, to stay rooted in what you know to be true and not to give up or I don't want to say falter is not the word. Not to compromise. Do not compromise your faith, your beliefs.

Speaker 1:

Hey, it's Lorraine. As you know, it's my joy and passion to teach and encourage others through this podcast, but my heart is actually at live events. Currently, I'm available for booking, so if you're organizing a live event, I'd love to share my story. Your audience will walk away with tangible tools on how to overcome limiting beliefs. Overcome limiting beliefs and break down obstacles and discover their gifts, talents and abilities in order to live a life that god created them.

Speaker 1:

This third one is kind of hard. It's not the size of the audience that's important, it's the connection. If you I don't want it to seem self-satisfying, I don't want it to make it about you, do you or do what feels good to you. That's not what I'm saying here and I'm not trying to say like self-love or anything like that. It is a matter of nervous system regulation and so, whatever, that is what calms your nervous system not drugs, not alcohol, not those things, but the things that really calm your nervous system. To do those things, because that brings you peace.

Speaker 1:

For me, personally, it's grounding, it's gardening, it's animals, it's baking, it's working out. Those are the things that help regulate my nervous system and when I do those things, I'm more level headed. I'm operating at a level where, if something comes in, it doesn't flip the script, it doesn't make me skyrocket to 10, right, I'm operating at a 2, 3, maybe 4. And when something comes in and disrupts me, I'm able to regulate because I'm operating at a low. I don't want to say state I'm operating at a high frequency, but I'm operating at a low. Oh my gosh, what is it called? I totally forgot what it's called. I'm totally blanking right now on what it's called. But my nervous system is regulated and I'm able to co-regulate. I am the, I am the thermostat, I I move, I regulate, I don't let something regulate me, right.

Speaker 1:

So those are the three things that I recommend doing doing something that calms your nervous system, um, to keep you regulated, not losing hope, to continue and stay true to you and your values Don't compromise on that and to stay rooted in your faith so that you have that wisdom and discernment. And the first one that I said is to to release control. You know your time is not God's time and you have to realize that everything will happen in God's time. That's another one. In due time I will lift you up. What one? What is that? It's in Isaiah, isaiah 60, 22. I love it when the word comes to me. Let me see Forgive my clitter, clatter nails on my keyboard. Pretty sure it's in Isaiah. Maybe it's in Peter.

Speaker 1:

I could be totally wrong the importance of humility. This season has definitely taught me a lot about humility, which I absolutely love, because I didn't even realize that humility was an issue or a struggle, which is fine, because I pray constantly about you know. Remove, remove from me what is not of you, because I want to be more like Jesus and less like the world. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, and he will exalt you in due time. First, peter, 5, 6.

Speaker 1:

Anyhow, friends, I hope this episode has served you well and remember that starting over, starting from scratch, isn't a failure. It's all in how you look at it, and so if you're in a season of starting over, that's okay. Hang in there, because I did too, and it's also taught me a lot about you know fake friends and you know starting all over with social media Like I'm not on there as much as I was at one point. I would love to connect with you. If you listen, find me on the socials, but I don't hang out there like I used to. But this season of starting all over has definitely taught me who the ride or dies are People that said that they were your friend and people that supported you online, on social media. Some are there, some are not. If you're the, if you're the real one, you know who you are. You MVPs out there. I love you, um, as always. Just remember you were divinely created for a divine purpose and there was no mistake in you. Peace out.