The Bite Size Podcast with Lorayne Michaels
A podcast for anyone wanting to become a better human! We'll discuss everything from faith, to life, to business, mental health and healing. Everyone has a story and a journey. I have created this space for you to come and learn. Hear from other amazing humans and how their mess became their message! We all go through trials and tests but only some surrender and let it be their TESTimony! Welcome to the BITE SIZE Podcast Friends!
The Bite Size Podcast with Lorayne Michaels
Embracing the Courage to Quit: A Journey to Authentic Living with Brittney Tollinchi
What if quitting wasn't a mark of failure, but a doorway to freedom? This week on the Bite Size Podcast, we sit down with the incredible Brittney Tollinchi—entrepreneur, coach, mom, wife, speaker, and author. Brittney shares her powerful story of an emotional awakening while driving, leading her to pivot from a successful corporate career to a purpose-driven life. Her compelling insights reframe quitting not as a setback, but as an essential step towards authenticity and personal liberation. Brittney's journey reveals how embracing the courage to quit what no longer serves us can transform our lives.
Throughout our conversation, we explore the profound theme of surrender and the freedom found in releasing digital distractions like social media. Brittney opens up about her own struggles and ultimate realization that true surrender involves trust and obedience to a higher purpose. We discuss how letting go of control can lead to incredible breakthroughs and a more present, fulfilling life. A poignant moment on Virginia Beach becomes a symbol of embracing surrender as a path to transformation, offering listeners a fresh perspective on living authentically.
The challenges women face while juggling multiple roles and seeking balance take center stage in our discussion. We emphasize the importance of mindful choices, journaling, and self-reflection to create space for what truly matters. Brittney and I talk about how showing up for oneself and practicing surrender can cultivate resilience and clarity. With gratitude for Brittney's enlightening insights, we invite you to experience the beauty of quitting with purpose and share this message of love and joy.
How To Find Britt
Website: brittneytollinchi.com
Podcast: Unjuggle the Struggle
Insta: @brittneytollinchi
Where you can find me:
LinkedIn
Instagram
TikTok
YouTube
Email Me: LorayneMichaels22@gmail.com
Hey friends, welcome back to the Bite Size Podcast. I'm your host, Lorraine Michaels, and today I am so excited to have Brittany DeLinci on the Bite Size Podcast. I met Brittany through Six Figure School. If you haven't guessed it, I have amazing friends in this group. If you don't know, haven't heard Lindsay Schwartz, powerhouse Women. She has a group six-figure school of amazing women entrepreneurs, moms, all the things and so I was very blessed to get connected with this Powerhouse Woman. She is a coach, she's a mom, she's a wife, she's a speaker, she's an author. I mean, she's a jack of all trades and master of all, I might add. So I'm so excited for you to get to meet and hear from Miss Brittany Welcome. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2:Oh, Lorraine, you are the best. Thank you so much for hosting. I am just happy to be here. I cannot wait for the conversation that's going to unfold.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I know everybody is going to love this, so I want to do something a little bit different. Sometimes, when I bring on a guest and introduce them, I'm always like where did you start and how did this come about? I just want to dive in because you are so incredible and you have so much to bring to the world, to the audience, to life. I am so excited for what is coming soon this book launch that we have been talking about, and you have an incredible piece that you talk about quitting, and if y'all have been listening to my podcast lately, I have removed a lot of things in my life, including all my hair, and it felt like I was quitting on my business, on life, and so I want to give people the freedom of hearing from you and your thoughts on quitting. And what exactly do you talk about in this book?
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, I love this. I love this just because I know how instrumental a reframe on quitting was in my own life. So a little bit about my story. This was actually about two years ago. I was taking a work trip from Denver to Kansas City. At the time I had been married, I had just welcomed another baby and all of the things I'm on this drive to Kansas City another baby and all of the things I'm on this drive to Kansas City. It's over 600 miles and I bawled the entire way.
Speaker 2:I think what had happened is it was this emotional release of this autopilot living that I didn't even realize I was doing this, like, okay, wait a second, I've got the education check, I've got the marriage check, I've got the family check, I've got this awesome job that I love check, and it was this. But what is this all for? What is this all for? And I think, as the stereotypical high achievers, we're always like what's next? Give me the next checkbox, give me the next checkbox, give me the next checkbox, give me the next checkbox. And we forget the power of being able to quit the things that are no longer serving us, because we just keep trying to persevere, and that's what I was doing. I was trying to persevere through this constant like how do I get to the next level, how do I get to the next level, how do I get to the next level? And in that moment I knew something was stirring, that I was going to have to make a big change. Again, I said I had a corporate job that I absolutely loved, with an organization, with the team doing what I loved, and I was being called to step out of the corporate box and it took me about a year and a half, lots of praying, and that's a whole journey that I impact frequently on my podcast.
Speaker 2:But what I found myself is I found myself at the crossroads where I knew I had to actually quit the job, and what I realized in that process was I was quitting comfort, I was quitting a perceived stability, I was quitting an identity and like a worldly job title instead of a deeper purpose and identity in who I really truly was and what I was being called to do. And so I unpack that in this chapter of the book that was released in mid-November. So it's Joyful Entrepreneur, their volume three In Times Square. We're releasing it the 22nd of November, so that's pretty exciting, but really it's just about busting that myth that quitting isn't failure. Quitting is freedom. So I have to ask you so this stuff that you've quit recently like you quit some social media stuff what are you finding on the other side of that quit?
Speaker 1:deleted everything. And you know, like before you do something kind of major, usually your iPhone or even on the computers, it's like it'll flag you like hey, you're about to delete this, Are you sure? And in the moment I was just like yes, yes, yes, Like delete it. And I let it all go. And then afterwards I was like, oh, what did I do? Like after I sat with it I was like what did I do? Oh, no, Like after I sat with it I was like it's gone, Like I don't have to show up, I don't have to reply, I don't have to look, I don't have to do anything. And I was just like I'm here, Like I don't have to record this because it's pretty and it's going to be a B-roll or this can be content later. Like I don't have to record this because it's pretty and it's going to be a B roll or this can be content later, Like I don't have to do any of that, Like all I have to do is be present and be open and receptive.
Speaker 1:So, like that quitting and that deleting and that releasing I mean it was that like I got to release everything and it just there was so much weight lifted off of me and literally like it felt like the veil was lifted, like I could see clearly, I could hear clearly. My quiet time is so much more just. I don't want to say soulful, but my, my quiet time is quiet time, right. I don't have the noise of alerts. I don't want to say soulful, but my, my quiet time is quiet time, right. I don't have the noise of alerts. I don't have the noise in my head of hey, you better check this or oh, what time is it? You better post it. Cause of the algorithm, like, I don't have any of that anymore. All I have is me and my thoughts and my time with God and like, and I get to show up authentically when I want on my podcast or YouTube or you know, on with other people and their podcasts.
Speaker 2:So present it's so powerful and what it's unlocking for you just being able to be present, for you just being able to be present Instead of constantly chasing an opportunity, the way that I'm sure you've started to see that opportunities seem to be actually flowing to you, instead of this constant chase, chase, chase, chase, chase. Yeah, and that absolutely happened for me too. I was sitting there, and when I so, I knew that I needed to close one chapter so that whatever was meant for me would find me, and it was within 30 days of leaving this corporate job that I had a book deal, one I had never asked for, one. I had never pursued all of the things. Right, it was divinely orchestrated for me because I made space for it, and I believe that wholeheartedly.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I can't remember where I was reading that, but that is like literally the thing that. So back in um gosh, I think it was July. Back in July, I had heard this prompting of surrender, letting it go Like, and I maybe I wasn't really open or receptive to like actually hearing hey, you need to delete and get off all social media. I was just hearing, um, letting go of, like, the subscription stuff and letting go, basically, of the control. I was trying to control the situation, make the connections you know, make those opportunities rather than letting them flow to me. And I mean so I heard that back in July and I was like ah, okay, I'll sort of surrender.
Speaker 1:You know, like sometimes when you surrender, it's like you think of opening up your hands. But my surrender was kind of like this like one hand closed, one hand open, like, okay, god, here you go. I'm going to hang on to this, though, because I got this and fast forward to October 28th, when I was like I'm done, I can't take it anymore here, and then I just threw it all back to God and I'm like it's yours, I don't want it, you do with it, take it back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. It's like that song where it's like I'll do anything for love, like I'll do anything to step into your alignment, god, but I won't do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly. So it's like that. That opened up a whole new can of worms and a whole new chapter of journal entries for me with, you know, surrender and what is that? What does that really look like? What is that posture? Like we were talking about the posture of surrender and how it looked like for you. Um, it did not look like that for me at first and I really wanted to. Like in my heart I wanted to surrender it. And in my heart, like I knew God was saying you don't have to do this, Like you don't have to work so hard for this. If you just be obedient, I will, I will lead you, Like I will literally show you where to go, but you have to surrender and you have to be obedient. And I was halfway doing it, know, and it just sucked.
Speaker 2:It was so rough so I was like, I mean, I was in the same boat where I was like halfway surrendering, which is why it took me a year and a half from that drive to Kansas City to actually putting in my resignation. A year and a half because I was so busy trying to like okay, that that's cute, God. But let's what if we tried this instead and you know what like, instead, I'll just put better boundaries at work so that maybe I can open up myself, you know to, to do this like side hobby, or okay, God, I'll, I'll use my voice more loudly in these boardrooms, it. But like, I don't think do we really need to quit? That sounds drastic. If there was a dialogue going on, that is exactly what it would have sounded like, Because surrendering is and, yeah, that posture of surrender that we talked about. I don't think that surrendering is actually meant to be easy.
Speaker 2:I think that that's part of coming to and being able to make that choice and the growth that happens when you make that choice. And I was at a speaker retreat where we were asked to take the posture of surrender. And so in that moment and everyone's eyes are closed, so it's supposed to be this really private, intimate moment for yourself In that moment I find myself literally dropped to my knees. We're standing on Virginia beach where I, dropped to my knees in Virginia beach, I tossed my head, my forehead, in the sand, because that was the posture of surrender that I I had felt my journey over the last six, seven months had taken me to. And it wasn't until after the exercise was complete that the host brought us all together. She's like okay, everybody close your eyes and take the posture of surrender that you took. And now everybody open your eyes and I was the only person who was head in the literal head in the sand.
Speaker 2:And it was in that moment that I had one of my breakthroughs, where, um, surrender I know in, especially this journey since leaving, surrender has felt, uh, weak. Surrender has felt powerless because there is a little out of control. Surrender has felt a little helpless, maybe even like, hey, I'm all right, fine, like I'll just. I'm here for the show, I guess. And it was in that moment that I realized that sometimes our surrender does ask us to take the posture of knees down, literal head in the sand. But for the other folks that were there, they were very much so standing in their surrender, and that's when I realized that that's what God was also calling me to do, that I had gotten to my point of kneeling in surrender and that's exactly where he needed me, but he was now calling me into standing in surrender and taking that posture, and that was just such a beautiful breakthrough moment.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, I totally resonate with that because it's exactly like what it's a perfect depiction of. I mean, that's the steps that I've been taking, because it was I was halfway surrendering and then I did, and I literally on my face, I don't know what to do anymore. Take this and now it's this okay, I will be the passenger, I will allow you to guide me. What does this look like? Where do you want me, god? How does this look now? But it's just so, okay, I want to go back to you, said from that moment, that drive that you had that breakthrough till you actually quit was over a year.
Speaker 2:It was a year and a half. Yes, ma'am, it was because, right Again, I'm going to say stereotypical, high achiever, stubborn, I'm going to do it my way. Okay, what if we just add this to the list instead? Hey, is this real Right, because I'm one of those. Nobody's going to outwork me. I'm like no one's going to be more determined, like you understand that, and so it was the same thing.
Speaker 2:It was like no, no, I'll just work my way out of feeling like I'm supposed to be doing more with my life. I'll just work my way out of the checkbox autopilot living and I'll just be really intentional about making sure that I've got work-life balance. I'll just be really intentional about AKA, doing it my way. That's what I was doing. I spent a year and a half doing it my way, stepping into more, and part of that like there was no part of that year and a half was lost, like that year and a half absolutely was part of the journey to get me to the point where I could resign, because it was. What happened over that year and a half was a true transformation in the form of because I started creating Better Work-Life Balance. I actually won top performer of the year twice in a row in a $5.6 billion international organization.
Speaker 2:So, like crazy, things like that happen while also being so present with my family and moving into a new home and watching my family thrive and these beautiful things. And I started noticing it was, for instance, like I would take 15 minutes in the morning to just pray and journal instead of logging on, so gosh darn early for work. No one asked me to log on early. It was just one of those things that you just did to run the desk. But I would take 15 minutes to pray and journal and what I started realizing was that 15 minutes intentional peace being still. That started fixing a lifetime of limiting beliefs and carrying weight of an identity that wasn't mine to carry anymore, like that I am my paycheck or that I am my job title, and I needed every bit of that year and a half to get to the point where I could actually resign.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. What would you say to the woman who is much like us, who is, you know, that high achiever that is always wanting to? You know, get the net, not on the hedonic treadmill, like just really trying to get the next best thing, not materialistic wise, but you know, just success. Um yeah, how? How would you explain to her, like how to release it, like the mom, the wife, the you know all the things, how to balance it without feeling like you're giving up or you're quitting in the world's eyes?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what a beautiful question, lorraine. I freaking love you so, so beautiful. I like the first thing that's coming to mind is just this it's about reconnecting. I just so deeply thing that's coming to mind is just this it's about reconnecting. I just so deeply believe that it's about reconnecting with, with who you are Like.
Speaker 2:I think that we were all, we're all given innate gifts. We are all created with a very like, specific, beautiful, intentional, divinely orchestrated plan very specific, beautiful, intentional, divinely orchestrated plan. And I think that the busyness and life circumstances end up putting a blanket over that light inside of us. And things are so noisy and all of a sudden it gets really dark and now you're just trying to wake up and try and keep track of what day it is that the light just seems like it's dimming and I think that that is just a life circumstance thing. I think that is a you know what we're consuming thing. But the second, that we actually start kind of peeling that back a little bit and giving the light space to shine the way that that permeates into everything. I mean light infects beautifully.
Speaker 2:And I think what I saw for myself was the more I was willing to peel back circumstance or peel back standards and expectations, the more I realized that I get to decide what kind of mother I show up as that. I get to decide what kind of wife I show up as that. I get to decide what kind of wife I show up as that. I get to decide what kind of leader I show up as. And that was so aligned with my soul that it made things like having to set boundaries or it made things like saying no or yes or raising my hand because I actually wanted something. It made all of that so much easier.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I love that, I love that. So that's so encouraging because I feel like women we try to do it all, be it all, and that just gives us that freedom of it's okay and to slow down and to listen and to lean into it. Right, instead of do do, do be, be, because that leads to like really that disconnect from the spirit and then you're you're not able to hear what God's really trying to speak to us, and being able to slow down, then you can kind of feel like this is how I need to show up and this is where I need to show up, because we feel that when we're so, so busy, we feel that disconnect and then all of a sudden, when the weight of it gets so heavy, it's like it's so obvious that we know that what we need to do, and then when we do it, it's like I felt that I should have done that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're like I.
Speaker 2:I think it shows up a lot of times too, like you said, to that like it gets us to our breaking point. We're so busy shoving it down, shoving it down that finally it gets us to a breaking point. And I would say, like to the woman who, if, if you have that voice in your head, that's like gosh. I just don't know if I need to quit my job just to be able to be a good mom or a good wife, because that is such a common question. It's also like the biggest like caution sign. You don't have to quit your job just to be able to show up as the mom you want to. But that's part of that like busyness that's piled up and now you're to your breaking point.
Speaker 2:If you're asking yourself that question, and there's some other reconnecting work that you might want to do first. That would be my suggestion for what it's worth Reconnecting back to self before you're just like. Here's my resignation and I'll figure out how I'm going to pay bills, Maybe yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, usually when that happens, I would say that there's something that can go. You don't have to just completely renege on everything and get rid of everything, but there are. There are something or some things that you can release. You don't need to do so that you can. We were talking about this releasing it so that you have space to receive, and if you're feeling that discontent, Quitting the wrong things, like quitting the things that aren't serving you anymore.
Speaker 2:If getting your children to 14 different athletic things is putting too much on your plate, okay, well then that's not maybe serving a certain piece of you. So how do you navigate and reposition that? And I don't think that we have to choose like this or that. I absolutely do believe in the power of and, and I think that if we have the power of and mindset that, that actually very naturally creates options for us. It's like, hey, wait, okay, maybe instead of doing 14, our schedule could actually allow for three. I mean, I think that there's ways to navigate that, but I think it's about options and it starts with, yeah, just knowing that that overwhelm, it's a real feeling and it's happening for a reason.
Speaker 2:And then just making sure that you're cutting the right things, that you're quitting the things that are no longer serving you, so that you can kind of put yourself back into a position of control again or of power, or maybe even so that you can put yourself into a position of surrender even.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, yeah. So how do you continue to practice that posture of surrender? Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:Oh, every single day, intentionally, because I know the benefits of it. It doesn't necessarily mean that it's easy, because I do think that posture of surrender I absolutely April Foster's beautiful soul. She actually wrote in the book too. She one of her keynotes. She describes a surrender in this almost like this corkscrew model. It's this corkscrew model upwards though, because it's like every time you okay, so you surrender on your knees, which kind of throws you to the right, and then you surrender on your feet and that throws to the left. You surrender on your knees, which kind of throws you to the right, and then you surrender on your feet and that throws to the left. You surrender on your knees, you surrender all the and it is. It's just kind of like I constantly for me, I constantly I resonate with that Like it does kind of feel like I get thrown around a little bit on. Where am I needed today the most, for whom? Myself the calling, whatever it may be. So I stay aware of it. I constantly journal.
Speaker 2:And then this is I'll let you in on a little secret here. It's actually one of the reasons I do my podcast. I do my podcasts extremely selfishly. I know that if anybody is going to get in my way. It's going to be me.
Speaker 2:And so I do the podcast episodes to remind myself that I know these things. I know these things that I should be doing. I know these things that have drastically impacted my own life and so perfect example, it was a couple weeks ago. I was doing my very typical behavior of trying to think my way through something, because I'm a natural problem solver and so I just need to keep pounding myself through this thought process until I can actually get to a solution. And in this, this drastic season of surrender, I have been reminded time and time again that I'm no longer operating in a space where you think your way through some of this. The only way through is truly like to be still. And so I listened to my uh, one of my own podcast episodes the other day, and, and, and it worked, lorraine. So I do my podcast super selfishly to remind me to like stay in the zone and how exactly to surrender.
Speaker 1:I love that. Oh, I love that Cause that is. I mean, it's a posture we have to continuously be in and be willing to be moved through Right, just like how you were explaining. Like the knees the stand, the knees the stand. Like I think surrender and obedience, um, and humility are, they all are go hand in hand, um, because you have to be humble in order to surrender and you have to be obedient in order to surrender, um, and they are all very difficult, um, they all are so against the flesh because you don't want to do any of that, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah no.
Speaker 1:Mm.
Speaker 2:Yep, I love how you say that it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Oh man. So what? What other than the book launch that's coming soon. By the time this releases, by the time this airs, it will have been released. What? What next is coming. What are we doing? Are we doing tours? Are we doing keynotes? What are we focusing on?
Speaker 2:Oh yes, uh well, where. Wherever I am called to show up is where I will show up. I have learned that that is exactly where this is the season. He needs me to just keep showing up, so I'm going to keep showing up. I do think that that looks like multiple keynotes. I'm already booked for a couple next year, so I'm so excited about that and the way that that's unfolding. I think there's a solo book probably in the works. So gosh knows, lorraine, I'm just going to keep showing up.
Speaker 1:I love that You're just going to keep surrendering.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly. Whether my head is in the sand or I'm standing, I'm just going to keep surrendering.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love it. I love it so much. Brittany, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for this beautiful conversation of what surrender really looks like and how it's different, and how quitting isn't quitting right, it's freeing and sometimes it's obedience. Quitting is being obedient and it looks different for everybody.
Speaker 2:Very much so Very much so. Thank you, lorraine, for hosting. I so appreciate you. I'm so grateful for the conversation. Thank you so much for this. Thank you, thank you Friends.
Speaker 1:If this episode has touched you in any way, if this is something that you needed to hear or if someone else needs to hear it, please pass it along. I will have all of Brittany's information in the show notes and tag Brittany you can't tag me because I don't have social right now but share the episode. The more you share, the more people will hear and learn and we could spread this love and joy everywhere. So thank you for being here and remember you were divinely created for a divine purpose. There was no mistake in you.