The Bite Size Podcast with Lorayne Michaels

Turn Your Pain to Purpose with Lorayne Michaels

• Lorayne

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After a decade in medicine, I found a different calling—a mission to empower women to rise above mindset barriers and uncover their divine purpose. Every struggle and triumph in our lives carries immense meaning, not just for us, but for the world. In this episode of the Bite Size Podcast, I open up about my own transformation and the incredible journey of a client who reclaimed her joy and strength. It's a testament to the fact that your story truly matters, and embracing it can lead to a life filled with purpose.

Pain, when met with grace, patience, and empathy, can be a powerful catalyst for growth. Sharing insights from biblical stories like Joseph and Moses, I talk about how harnessing lessons from adversity can aid others, inspiring hope and resilience. This episode is a reminder not to be defined by negativity or false narratives. Instead, we explore the transformative power of forgiveness and kindness as keys to personal and communal healing.

In moments of darkness, tools like journaling, prayer, and meditation become invaluable on the path to healing. I share my personal experiences with challenges like abusive relationships and addiction, highlighting practical strategies that helped me find solace and purpose. By connecting with others who share similar experiences, we can create supportive spaces where no one feels isolated. As a coach and speaker, my aim is to guide you in discovering your unique gifts, empowering you to live a life that aligns with your deepest calling. For more resources and support, visit theboldbeginnings.com and join our community. Your journey is significant, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.

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Email Me: LorayneMichaels22@gmail.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Bite Size Podcast. I'm your host, lorraine Michaels, former EMT and nursing assistant, now business owner and wild entrepreneur. I walked away from over 15 years in medicine to pursue my passion and my God-given talents. Now I get the honor of helping other women discover their passions and purpose. If you're feeling stuck in life, unsure where to go or what to do, welcome. If you're exactly where you want to be great, you're welcome here too. If you have faced any kind of hardship or setback, you have found a safe place here. In other words, no matter who you are or what you've been through or what you're going through, this is the space for you. On the Bite Size podcast, we'll discuss life, business and faith. There's something for everyone. So grab a cup of coffee and something to take notes with, because there will definitely be things you won't want to forget.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the Bite Size Podcast. I'm your host, lorraine Michaels, and today's episode I can't wait to talk to you about because it is me, it's about my mission, it's about what I absolutely love to do, and so, if you don't know, my mission is helping women, high achieving women, and when I say high achieving women, because I know that you were created for more. So when you hear that, I don't want you to tune me out and be like, oh, I'm not a CEO, oh, I'm not an entrepreneur, no, no, if you're a woman and you're listening to this, it's you. I'm talking to you. And so I love helping women overcome mindset barriers. I love helping women discover who that they were created to be and helping them realize that their story matters, their mission matters. Big or small, it doesn't matter, because everyone was divinely created for a divine purpose. Created for a divine purpose.

Speaker 1:

And this topic, if you will, is so close to my heart because it is what I have been through. I've been in the pit and in that dark place of not wanting to live anymore, of putting myself through pain and hell and turmoil, going through it because someone else's bad decisions put me there. Yes, I have always had responsibility and a part and a play and a role in my life, in all my life's choices, everything that I've been through. I am not negating that. But I know that there are situations and stories and people out there who, legitimately, have been a victim of something. But I'm here to tell you that you are not a victim and that there's a purpose for your pain. There's a reason why you went through what you went through, and so that is my core is to help you gain the confidence and realize that your story matters, and to help you implement new practices right.

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So today we're going to dive deep into how God can use your mess for a message and why your story, no matter how messy it is, it matters deeply. It matters deeply to God and it matters deeply to the world. And so I want to first start off with helping you understand the power of your story. So I want to kind of discuss what it means when I say your story matters, and I understand that everybody's experience is different. Everybody has different life stories, different life experiences. Good or bad, they all shape you and they have all helped create the person that you are today, and I want you to know that it matters that, whether good or bad, it's an integral part of who you are and who you are as a child of God, and it matters. You matter, and no one's story is too broken or insignificant to use for God to use. Something catastrophic could have happened to you, or something minor could have happened to you. I don't want you to disregard your life's experiences as, uh, it doesn't matter, uh, it's just life. No, they matter and it matters. And and I'm not here to make a big, but I am because it has created you and who you are. So I guess, just a brief story about turning struggle into strength.

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I was working with a client who really was just not happy. Not happy with where her life was at, not happy with her life's circumstances. You know the relationship that she was in and she was really struggling because she was so focused on helping her partner out of their struggle that she was losing herself and she was losing hope, she was losing faith, she was losing joy, all the things that made her who she was she was letting go of unintentionally, but it had gone on for so long. She forgot and didn't know. And so the reason why I'm saying this is because it was a struggle and it took us working together that I could help her remember who she was, remember the things that brought her joy, and realize that she has a tremendous amount of strength and that her story matters and that there's a reason for her. And eventually, you know, through working together and different exercises, and she got to a place where she didn't quit her job but there was a new role position so she found joy again back in her job because she absolutely loves helping people. She has such a huge heart for people and you know it got to the point where she found joy again in her position and she found joy again in finding a new hobby and getting back into, you know, a healthy routine and a healthy lifestyle, and so that is a small, small story about someone who was able to turn their struggle into their strength.

Speaker 1:

And so that kind of leads me into how God uses your mess for a message. And if you are willing and open and you can receive what I am saying to you, if you can understand that there is a purpose in your pain, and if you are open and willing to get curious about that and learn how your pain can serve a. This is a concept that I discovered on my own because of the pain that I endured and the life experiences and the struggles that I have been through, most because of my own poor choices. Some were not choices that I had, but experiences and circumstances that I mean I put myself in. But anyways, it's important that you understand and realize that challenges and trials are going to come, no matter what. It's life right. This is not heaven, this is earth, and because of the fall, we have to suffer sin and consequences of sin, whether they are from our choices or other people's choices, unfortunately. And so challenges and trials are going to come, but they are also testimonies. So if you learn from the trial and the challenge, it will become your testimony, and there is a significant importance in being able to embrace the tough seasons instead of running from them, and this is what I mean by that.

Speaker 1:

So I could make this a personal story of marriage. So there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and a perfect marriage. Believe me, I know. And so marriage, just like any other relationship, takes work and there will be challenges. And so when you're in a relationship, whether it's marriage or dating, if you're in a relationship and you come into a season of challenge or you're faced with any challenges in a relationship, you have two options to lean into it and get to the root of it and figure it out and move through it, or not. Either way, you're in control. You can choose to participate and solve the problem, or exit. But know that just because you exit doesn't mean there's not going to be problems because you are a part of this equation, this relationship, and you have responsibility in it. So, wherever you go, there you are. If you did not deal with your own issues whether it be anger, trauma, insecurity, whatever it is if you're not dealing with your own, you're bringing that into the next relationship. So, therefore, there's going to be challenges in the next relationship. So hear me when I say if you choose to leave, there's going to be another set of problems because it's two imperfect people trying to be in a relationship. And if you choose to be single, that's fine, but you still have to deal with yourself. You're not going to not have relationships with anyone. There's going to be friendships. You have family, you have a job, there's people that you work with right, so there's always going to be you.

Speaker 1:

So the point of what I'm saying is embracing the tough seasons instead of running from them. Embracing whatever season that is in. If it's your job and it's a difficult time in your job, or whatever it is, embrace the tough season and get curious and ask yourself what it is that you're supposed to learn from this. What is God trying to teach you in this? And if you're not a believer in God, whatever resonates with you. What are you supposed to learn from it? Because we're supposed to be learning and evolving and growing as humans, and I know that you do, because you're listening to this. So that's my challenge. For one is.

Speaker 1:

My challenge is, when you are in a tough season, ask yourself what can I learn from this, what can I glean from this? What positive thing can I pull from this tough situation? And so flipping your perspective on it, instead of a victim mentality and oh my gosh, why is this happening to me? Instead of looking at it in a negative light, looking at it from a positive perspective of this is helping me. Whatever this is, this is helping me. This is happening to me for a reason.

Speaker 1:

How can I be a better person from this?

Speaker 1:

Do I need to learn grace? Do I need to learn patience? Do I need to learn empathy? Do I need to learn problem solving? Is it something internally that I need to work on? Is this bringing up issues that were unresolved within me Anger, resentment, unforgiveness, bitterness. What is it in me that I need to work out? And if it's not, then what can I learn? Do I need to exemplify grace? Do I need to exemplify patience. So, looking at it from a perspective of how can I be better, what can I learn from this and I've seen this play out many times in my own life and in other people's life but I just want you to know that God can turn anything around, anything, and if you are open and willing to learn from it, grow from it. If you have an open heart to receive whatever God is trying to teach you, he will make it beautiful. He will make it. He will just give you a peace that surpasses all understanding, and I've shared this story multiple times on different podcasts.

Speaker 1:

But you know, when I was going through my second divorce and cleaning out my house from my stepdaughter's things because my ex-husband had cheated on me with his ex-wife and so he was gone and I was cleaning out his kids things, and I had it all laid out on the table and I had two choices at that point I could either be angry and bitter or I can get better. And immediately I was looking at it and I knew that this was not the way my story was going to end. I knew that there was a reason why I was going through this and that I would be able to help someone, someone somewhere, somehow. This was not going to go to waste. This pain, this terrible, terrible pain that I was feeling was not going to go to waste. And so I prayed. I prayed over the things and I asked God to bless the next person that was going to get them, the children that were going to receive the clothes, the children that were going to receive the toys, whatever it was that I had that I was going to give away and donate. I wasn't going to sell it. Trust me, I spent a lot of money on all that stuff, but I knew that there was a reason for it, and that gave me peace, knowing that, one, I was going to help someone and, two, I was never going to let another woman go through what I was going through feeling alone or angry, or hurt, or that you know her life is that this was going to be for nothing. Right? That is one example of how God can turn pain into purpose.

Speaker 1:

I mean, there's stories in the Bible also in regards to how God used pain for purpose. God used pain for purpose. I'm going to give you a couple because I find them encouraging. So there's Joseph's story. He went from the pit to the palace. And if you aren't familiar with the Bible or this story, the reference is in Genesis 37, 39 through 50. And the key verse is Genesis 50, verse 20. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done the saving of many lives. No-transcript is a powerful story of how God can use a difficult circumstance for a greater purpose. Joseph was actually sold into slavery by his own brothers. He was falsely accused and he was sent to prison. And Joseph's life seemed filled with setbacks, but yet God used those setbacks to position him as a leader of Egypt and ultimately, joseph was able to save his family. He forgave his brothers who put him into jail and he saved his family from a famine and he showed how God's plan ultimately prevailed. And I love that story because it was a story that God showed he was a faithful, a faithful servant of God doing the right things, and got falsely accused right.

Speaker 1:

Rumors have been spread about us. People have said false things about us. Oh my gosh, if you even knew. Okay, I'm going to tell you something, if you don't know this already, about me. So my second marriage my ex-husband's ex-wife when we were married said horrible things about me, that I was a drug user, that I was abusive, all these horrible things about me which essentially kind of stuck in court because I mean, it wasn't about me, it was about him and she was trying to keep his kids from him. So anyways, I had to deal with that being said about me and I was filled with rage and anger when she said that about me because I was like how dare she? She doesn't even know me, I'm not a drug user, I'm like the most loving, kind person. And again I had two choices to let what she said, the false things she said about me, be true. Like, am I going to let this anger and rage bubble out of me or am I going to take what she said with a grain of salt and realize that she means nothing to me in my life and has no pull, say what she says about me has nothing to do with me. I know who I am, I know whose I am, I know how I am, I know how God created me and I know God doesn't see that. Or how God created me and I know God doesn't see that, or say that about me. And then I forgave her. And then I forgave her and then I helped her. I think I paid her rent one time Granted that might have been out of spite because I was like, are you struggling here, let me help you, but anyways, that's neither here nor there. That's neither here nor there.

Speaker 1:

Another story was about Moses, exodus 2 through 4. So Exodus 4. So Exodus, chapter 2 through chapter 4, specifically Exodus 4, verses 10 and 12. Moses said to the Lord pardon your servant. Lord, I have never been eloquent. The Lord said to him. And so the summary, the backstory of that, was Moses' story began with him fleeing Egypt after killing an Egyptian in a moment of rage and anger, and he spent years in the wilderness running from God because he felt unworthy and he felt unworthy of a future role in God's plan. But God called him back. He called him back to lead the Israelites out of slavery and using Moses' past and his imperfections as a part of his testimony. So, despite his mistakes, god equipped him and used him to deliver the people out of slavery, out of what the devastation that they were in. God equipped him and used him showing how he can transform a troubled past into a powerful mission.

Speaker 1:

And there's many other stories, but I just want you to realize that your story matters and it doesn't matter how bad it is or what. I know, it's really hard. I really want to grab you and shake you and tell you, like, stop putting so much pressure on yourself, because God can use you. But at the same time I understand, because there was a point in a time where I was like God is never going to use me. I have messed up. I cheated on my first husband, I abused alcohol, I was sleeping around. God is never going to use me to his glory. But then I had to stop, say stop making it about me. Who am I? Who am I to decide what God can and can't do? Who am I to decide what God will and won't do? Throughout the Bible, god uses imperfect people to help his mission right. And so it took me many years to realize that God can use me too and I don't have this crazy outlandish testimony. I wasn't a drug addict, addicted to heroin and on the streets. I don't have this crazy story. And also I used to think, oh well, my story is not bad enough for God to use and it's so funny how we make it about us right. And then I had to stop and it got to the point where I'm like I don't care what other people think, I don't care if people know that I was arrested and charged a felony assault with a deadly weapon.

Speaker 1:

Yep, that's me. That's part of my story. I was arrested and charged, charged a felony assault with a deadly weapon. Yep, that's me. That's part of my story. I was arrested and charged with a felony assault with a deadly weapon. I did my time, I paid my dues. It got reduced. It's no longer on my record.

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God redeemed it right.

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I've been through it. I was in an abusive relationship. I dealt with addiction. I dealt with infidelity. God is going to use it. My mess is a message for someone that God can redeem it. No matter how bad you are or no matter what horrible things have been done to you, god can use it. Your message matters.

Speaker 1:

Hey, it's Lorraine. As you know, it's my joy and passion to teach and encourage others through this podcast, but my heart is actually at live events. Currently, I'm available for booking, so if you're organizing a live event, I'd love to share my story. Your audience will walk away with tangible tools on how to overcome limiting beliefs, break down obstacles and discover their gifts, talents and abilities in order to live a life that God created them to live. It's not the size of the audience that's important. It's the connection and impact that I will bring. For more information, email me at lorraine at theboldbeginningscom.

Speaker 1:

I really, I really want you to know that, really want you to know that, and I also want to leave you with some tools so that when you're dealing with this, when you're going through this, and when you're feeling discouraged, I want you to have some tools in your tool belt. So some practical steps for embracing your story, some practical things to do to help you through this. So some actionable steps. Some things that you can start doing. If you're not already doing them is journaling Journaling every day. I know life is crazy busy, but this helps. This helps tremendously. It helps you release these thoughts and emotions that you keep in your head and when you're putting pen to paper, it helps you in your subconscious mind getting these things out, and so I would encourage to journal about your days and journal about how you're feeling, the experiences that you're going through, whether good or bad, how they're making you feel, and getting those emotions out of your brain and out on the paper so that you can reflect on it, so it can help you in prayer, so you know what you're praying about. And then also it helps in reflection when you're in a different season and you go back and you look and you read where you were at and where you are now and that will help you in a state of gratitude, being grateful for what you've been through, what you learned, how you're a different person now.

Speaker 1:

Another thing is prayer and meditation. Another thing is prayer and meditation. So these practices I do every day is just getting quiet before the Lord, asking God to reveal to you the purpose and what you are going through. That is something that has tremendously helped me in my times of struggle is praying and asking God to reveal to me what it is that I'm supposed to learn, how can I make my pain purpose, how can I help someone, and even in good seasons, asking God to reveal to me the purpose of where I'm at right now and how I can help someone.

Speaker 1:

I would also encourage you to find maybe a group of women or another woman to share these stories with and share what you're going through, not trauma bonding, but in a way of it's a healing practice for you to. When you have been through something and you share it, you are giving yourself that freedom and that power of healing that you've been through it, that you've made it through it. But also, in you sharing, you're allowing that vulnerability and it's that chance to let others know that they're not alone and that you've been through what they're going through. And that opens that opportunity to create that connection, because we're not meant to do this alone. That is another reason why I share everything that I've been through, because I never want anyone else to feel alone and that their story doesn't matter or that they're the only one that's going through it. So I strongly encourage that connection. That is what I am here for. So I, as a coach, as a speaker, I help you walk through that. I give you different actionable steps. I help you through that journey of healing and finding your purpose right.

Speaker 1:

So before I leave, before I wrap this up, I really want to invite you to share this episode, to save the episode and to reach out to me. If you have any questions, if you are struggling in any way with what you are going through, reach out to me. Let's hop on a call and I can help point you in the direction that you need to go, whatever that is. This is not a pitch. I'm not selling my coaching. I genuinely want to help you. If you are struggling, let's get on a call and see what I can do and how I can help you in part of your journey, because your message matters.

Speaker 1:

Also, if you don't know, you're hearing this on the podcast, but my website is theboldbeginningscom. I have some freebies there if you are inclined to want to step into natural practices, natural healing, health and fitness. So I have a free exercise, a home exercise routine, as well as a gym routine, and that's. You can get that at theboldbeginningscom slash gym routine. Also, my newsletter. You can get that same thing theboldbeginningscom slash newsletter. Yeah, I will have all of those freebies in the show notes. So if you missed that, just click the show notes and you will find those freebies. As always, guys, I love you and your message matters. Your story matters. You were divinely created for divine purpose.