The Bite Size Podcast with Lorayne Michaels

The Myth of Work-Life Balance: Why It's Time to Reframe Your Priorities

• Lorayne • Season 2 • Episode 27

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Is work-life balance achievable, or is it merely a myth? Join Lorayne Michaels on the Bite Size Podcast as we untangle this question and explore how stress, lack of routine, burnout, and an absence of joy contribute to feelings of imbalance. Discover practical stress management techniques, the power of routines, and the importance of a strong mind-body connection. We'll discuss how understanding the different seasons of life and their unique demands can help you prioritize health, set boundaries, and carve out time for self-care and joy.

In our next segment, we tackle the critical issue of burnout, with a particular focus on healthcare workers. Learn to recognize the signs of burnout and understand how pressures from work, parenting, and relationships can contribute to it. Lorayne emphasizes the importance of maintaining joy and gratitude through daily routines, journaling, and spiritual practices. The episode concludes with strategies for achieving balance and managing stress through a holistic approach to health, including gratitude and self-care. Lorayne shares personal experiences to highlight the significance of focusing on the positives and staying resilient despite daily challenges. Join us on this journey towards a balanced and grateful life.

Where you can find me:
My website: https://theboldbeginnings.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LorayneMichaels22
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Lorayne_michaels/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LorayneMichaels

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Bite Size Podcast. I'm your host, lorraine Michaels, former EMT and nursing assistant, now business owner and wild entrepreneur. I walked away from over 15 years in medicine to pursue my passion and my God-given talents. Now I get the honor of helping other women discover their passions and purpose. If you're feeling stuck in life, unsure where to go or what to do, welcome. If you're exactly where you want to be great, you're welcome here too. If you have faced any kind of hardship or setback, you have found a safe place here. In other words, no matter who you are or what you've been through or what you're going through, this is the space for you. On the Bite Size podcast, we'll discuss life, business and faith. There's something for everyone. So grab a cup of coffee and something to take notes with, because there will definitely be things you won't want to forget. Welcome back to the Bite Size Podcast.

Speaker 1:

I'm your host, lorraine Michaels, and today we're going to dive into, dare I say, a controversial topic. It's not controversial. I don't like that word. I just learned that I can't really say that word. There's no controversy behind this topic, however, the title maybe, or maybe the thought of. So just say it, lorraine. What is it that we're talking about Work-life balance, life balance in general.

Speaker 1:

What is balance? The myth of work-life balance and why it's time to life is never in balance per se, because everything is not going to be the same. You're not going to give the same time, energy and attention to everything. You're just not, because there's different seasons in your life and different stages in your life where you're going to need to give more time, attention and energy into something rather than something else, right? So when you have young children, toddlers and really children from the ages of zero to nine, they are so heavily dependent on you, right? So you can't fully focus on, maybe your business or other things. So I don't want to rabbit trail already in the first two minutes of this, but anyways, work-life balance and the myths of it, and what is really the block, what is really the things that is keeping you from feeling that harmony, that feeling that balance.

Speaker 1:

And so I want to talk to you today about the key elements that are in your life that are maybe causing you to feel that imbalance, that are causing you to feel that chaos, that disruption, the lack of peace, if you will. So the five elements that would cause that are stress, not having a routine, no mind-body connection, meaning you have no idea what is going on between the connectedness between your body and your mind, aka your central nervous system, why you flip a lid over the littlest thing. It's because you have no mind-body connection. Number four burnout. Body connection. Number four burnout. And number five not having joy. Now, I know each of these elements contribute heavily to different people in different stages, but all five of these are what is contributing to you feeling the imbalance, to feeling out of whack.

Speaker 1:

So the first one let's talk about the stress. And obviously I know stress is inevitable. If you are living on this earth, friend, you have some level of stress going on. So I know I'm not going to sit here and say stress less, don't have any stress in your life. I know that's impossible, but let's talk about the ways that we can manage our stress. So if you have a high level of stress, maybe it's a high level stress job, or you have a bunch of children, or you're a single parent, or maybe you are in a marriage and your partner is not helping out as much as you would like. So you have, for whatever reason, you have a lot of stress in your life. So we can't eliminate that, and I know that. So the solution to it is stress management. How can you better manage your stress? Well, for one, taking your health into, making that a priority. Making your health a priority, that's one thing, um, that's one thing. Another thing that can reduce stress is making sure that you have boundaries, that you have time for yourself. You have time carved out, either daily or weekly, to center yourself, to do the things that you enjoy, to do the things that bring you joy, the things that make you feel calm, right.

Speaker 1:

Number two not having a routine. So that, to me, causes stress, and some people can operate by the seat of their pants. Some people don't have to have lists and routines, and that's fine. I am jealous of you because I cannot do that. I need to know who, what, when, where, why.

Speaker 1:

But having a routine or a lack of routine, you're constantly living in this fight or flight mode. So, although you might think that's working for you, not having a routine, you're constantly living in this fight or flight mode. So, although you might think that's working for you, not having a routine, in actuality it's sending your body, your mind, your central nervous system into fight or flight constantly. So you have higher levels, elevated levels of cortisol, you have your stress hormones are elevated. Your body is constantly wondering what's going to happen next. What are we doing? It's always on edge. Maybe you feel that way. Maybe you carry a lot of tension in your neck and shoulders. That is a key indicator of stress right there. So making sure that somehow you have some type of routine. So creating a healthy routine, establishing a good morning routine when you get up, doing a gratitude journal or listing out loud or writing them down, saying the things that you are grateful for every single morning, sets the tone mentally of your day, your mental well-being, how this is going to go. But having that down and it helps calm your mind and your nerves.

Speaker 1:

Number three not having that mind-body connection. So when we're in that constant fight or flight mode and you fly off the handle for whatever reason and it might be the smallest thing or you're not really aware of what's going on in your body, when you're angry, when you're sad, when you're stressed, when you're overwhelmed, all of these things, not having that mind-body connection and knowing what's going on inside your body is going to affect you in a negative way. So, for example, I used to struggle with panic attacks when it came to motorcycles, whether it be Harleys, street bikes, it didn't matter. Any type of motorbike would give me, it would just throw me into a severe panic attack like crying, hyperventilating, the works. And so, amongst other things that I had to do to get through that, it was a trauma related response.

Speaker 1:

Someone very close to me in my family died on a motorcycle accident and then, while we were at his funeral going to the I guess we were in the procession we were going from the funeral to the grave site. He was a part of a biker group, so there was lots of bikers there and one of his friends crashed and died and I saw it, and so just all of these traumatic things that had to do with motorcycles and street bikes compacted, it sent me into a severe panic attack and it happened. It would happen continuously, happen for years later, and so how I had to work through that trauma was being very aware of my mind-body connection. And now this is a practice that I have had to do with other traumatic things to get my body into this homeostasis of it's okay, you're safe. This all has to do with somatic work. It has to do with rewiring your brain. It has to do with trauma and healing through trauma, but right now we're talking about having a mind-body connection and creating balance in your life.

Speaker 1:

So the other day, a motorcycle a bunch of motorcycles flew by me and then, I think the next day, there was a street bike on the freeway going so incredibly fast. By the time I heard it, he flew by me and he split the lanes. I was in the fast lane and there was another car in the lane next to me. He split the lanes and flew by me and it was so incredibly loud and he went so incredibly fast. It just flew me into a panic attack and normally I would just feel all the feelings and let them happen. I would get hot and clammy and sweaty and I'd start hyperventilating and I 'd immediately start crying.

Speaker 1:

But before that happened, I was very acutely aware of what was going on in my body and I felt myself get flush. Mind you, I was driving. I felt myself get flush. I felt my heart rate start to elevate and my breathing, like I, started to tense up and my breathing was about to start to escalate and I had to literally start talking to myself and I had to take slow, deep breaths. And I had to literally start talking to myself. And I had to take slow, deep breaths and I had to start talking to myself and telling myself Lorraine, you're okay, lorraine, you're driving.

Speaker 1:

And then I did my five senses, my. What do I see, what do I hear, what do I smell, what can I feel? I had to go through all of those things and literally, out loud, start saying them, all of those things, and literally, out loud, start saying them. I see the trees, I can feel the steering wheel, I feel the cold air of my air conditioning. I'm safe, I can smell my deodorant, like all the things. And I can feel my feet. My foot is on the gas pedal, I can feel the cold air on my skin. And so I had to walk myself through all of my senses and it literally calmed myself down and I had to keep telling myself I'm safe, I'm okay, everything's fine and I was good. So that is having a mind body connection when something happens, you are immediately aware of what's going on in your body.

Speaker 1:

I have had to do this so much with my stepson because he came into my world while I was healing still from other traumatic things, and he came into my life with a whole bag of trauma himself Mind you, he was five at the time and so we started going through his healing journey and he was very dysregulated and imbalanced emotionally and I'm still trying to figure out all my triggers and how to work through them and now we're trying to help him heal. So I have had to do this mind-body connection continuously with him because sometimes he cannot control his emotions and he'll be erratic and fly off the handle and be super emotional and rather than me responding in anger again, I have to have this mind-body connection to make sure that I stay calm. So it's really important, while you're trying to have this quote unquote balanced life and feel the harmony and feel balanced with work, life, parenting, your business, whatever it is. Having that mind body connection is so important because we deal with so much stress as parents, as a spouse, as an entrepreneur, right, even in your job. If you have a high stress job so working in the hospital, in the emergency department, super high stress you have to be able to have such a keen sense of your mind-body connection, because you're not always at work, you're not always driving an ambulance, you're not always fighting fires, you're not always a police officer. That might not be true. I would take that one back. Once you're a police officer, you're kind of always on duty, you're always aware, right. So when, when you have a high stress job, that mind-body connection is so important because you have to be able to calm yourself and regulate yourself when you're not in that environment, and that goes for everything, right? So, having that mind-body connection and the best advice, the best tips that I can give you for that mind-body connection and the best advice, the best tips that I can give you for that mind-body connection, is literally being aware of what is going on inside of your body when you're experiencing stress, when you're experiencing anger, when you're experiencing I think those are the two really big ones high stress and anger, because those are the high emotions that will fly you off into a direction that you don't want to go. So what do you feel? Do you feel hot, clammy, sweaty? Is your heart racing? Are you tensing? Are you clenching your teeth? Are you clenching your fists? Is your shoulders coming up to your ears Like? Are you so tense? Do you feel tension in your back, anywhere in your body on? And I'm going to tell you, friend, sometimes it is so difficult when you're in that moment to shut everything out and to listen to your body and you have to take the time, you have to stop what you're doing. I mean, if you're driving, obviously don't stop driving, but don't respond. Don't react, don't yell at someone I have had to do this again with my stepson, like immediately when he flies off the handle or if he has an emotional outburst and I want to react, but really I need to respond. So I have to take the time and I have to stop myself from yelling, cussing, whatever, and breathe. That's the biggest thing is breathing, taking slow, deep breaths and breathing so that you can gather your thoughts and make sure that you're going to say the right thing. So the solution is having that mind-body connection. That's going to help you tremendously.

Speaker 1:

Number four burnout. That's a hard one, I know, because you have to work right, so you need to be aware of what are the signs of burnout. You have to parent right, you have to be a spouse, so all of those things you definitely can get burnt out on. But recognizing the signs and addressing them, having again having boundaries, prioritizing your self-care, seeking support when you need it those are definitely the solutions to burnout is making sure that you're aware of it. What burnout can look different for everybody.

Speaker 1:

What is most common is not caring about the things that you used to care deeply about. Period, point blank. You see this in healthcare workers so much because they are so burnt out on the way people are treating them, the amount of stuff that is coming into hospitals and healthcare systems and the pushback on things. Healthcare workers are getting it from every single angle right. They're getting it from wherever they're working. New policies, new procedures are always coming at you. You have to adapt and change and do the things that are now expected of you. Also, they are expecting so much from you and it is incredibly stressful. All the things that are coming in, all the patients that are coming in. It's nonstop and they have. I mean, we all know customer service has plummeted ever since 2020. And just the world in itself, like people are just angry all the time, bitter all the time. They want what they want, how they want it yesterday, and they have absolutely zero patience or tolerance for waiting. Nor do they care of the reason why they're not getting what they want. So there's just it's coming at all angles and I would say that's from every industry, right, you're getting it from all angles. So you have to be aware, be aware of what's going on.

Speaker 1:

Why did you start doing what you were doing? And then, if those things are no longer important to you anymore, why, what happened? Do you need to change careers? Do you need to take a different path? Or do you need to start implementing boundaries? Do you need to start prioritizing self-care and doing the things that matter most to you? And then five no joy. Having no joy is gonna make you feel out of balance. And what are the things that bring joy? Gratitude, remembering what God has done for you, remembering all the good things in your life. That's part of my daily routine. So back to I mean, that's one of the things how to ensure that you have a balanced life is having a daily routine, and part of my daily routine is gratitude and journaling and making sure that I am writing down and voicing out the things that are going good in my life.

Speaker 1:

I focus on the good when things today today was a really crappy day and it was just one thing after another that was not going good and I literally had to stop and at one point, you know, I called my husband and I was like I need to vent. And then that didn't even work. Like he was busy with his work and I couldn't even vent to him. So that threw me into like another. But I had to stop, come home and get into the word. Honest to God.

Speaker 1:

As I was driving, I'm like, okay, god, you've got my attention. Take this feeling away from me. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to feel this right now. I get it. You gave me all my emotions. Okay, I'm angry, but I don't want to be angry. Okay, I'm frustrated. I understand that I have every right to be.

Speaker 1:

Because of X, y and Z that has happened today, I'm frustrated. I felt it let's move on. Like I don't want to carry this through my day. So, god, please help me. Help me remember the good things. And I start saying them out loud, literally saying them out loud. What am I thankful for? What is awesome in my life? And then you know I do that. And then you know I do that. And then I get home and I get into the word, I read the Bible and I remember the goodness of God and it starts to turn my day around, it starts to turn my attitude around.

Speaker 1:

I get on here and I record a podcast because I absolutely love connecting with you guys. I absolutely love doing these, whether it's a solo episode or I have someone on. I love, love, love, providing value and trying to help you guys as best as I can. So, as controversial as it may be, having work-life balance is possible. And balance in my mind is feeling like you're coasting right. That's balance. Things are going okay.

Speaker 1:

Balance to me, my life is going as it's going and then there's a bump in the road or a pothole or whatever, and I hit it and I keep going. I trip on something and I keep going, but my attitude remains the same. Something and I keep going, but my attitude remains the same. I remain joyful, I remain grateful, I remain peaceful. I mean, god even tells us in Psalm 85, 8,.

Speaker 1:

I will listen to what God, the Lord, will say. He promises peace to his people, his saints, but let them not return to folly. God promises us peace. We just have to look to him for it, we just have to search for it, we just have to ask him for it. He will give it to us. He will give us the strength. I understand if you are going through a tough situation a crappy job, a tough relationship, tough kids If you ask God for the wisdom and the strength I promise you he will give it to you.

Speaker 1:

You can find balance, and balance is being able to hold the things with happiness, hold the things with gratitude right. I'm so thankful for the life that I have, even though I know that God has equipped me and I'm thankful for it. So the solutions that I'm giving you today I've walked you through all of them. I've given you plenty of them. But making sure to have stress management, having the things, the tools, in your tool belt so you know how to manage your stress, taking time for yourself, finding the things and doing the things that bring you joy yourself finding the things and doing the things that bring you joy, building a routine, being grateful, adding, you know, a gratitude journal to your routine, having a healthy diet and exercise that is going to help immensely. That falls in line with holistic health. So having a good diet and exercise program in your life that helps you release the stress, setting boundaries for yourself and implementing self-care as part of your routine and then practicing gratitude and joy.

Speaker 1:

Friends, I hope this episode has helped you along today. It has helped me, and I'm just so grateful for you. Thank you for joining me on this journey, and if this episode helped you in any way, please make sure to share it with someone and tag me. I would love to connect with you. I love seeing you guys share my clips on social media and I love it when you reach out to me and let me know that you heard it and you loved it. So until next time, you are divinely no-transcript. No-transcript.