Resilience Reimagined: Tamara Fox's Transformation from Adversity to Empowered Wellness Coach

When life throws its harshest trials at us, where do we find the strength to push forward? Join me, Lorayne Michaels, as I sit down with Tamara Fox, a woman whose profound resilience has shaped her into a health and wellness coach with an extraordinary ability to empower others. Tamara shares her traumatic past, from surviving a home invasion and assault to navigating the deep waters of loss and her father's addiction. Witness the metamorphosis of a career in human resources into a calling to provide empathetic, transformative coaching—a journey that reminds us all that even from the darkest experiences, a guiding light can emerge.

The path to healing isn't solely a personal endeavor; it's often interspersed with the art of self-care. This episode illuminates the myriad ways we can nurture our mental health, from the simplicity of resting without guilt to the joy discovered in life's minute pleasures. Tamara and I unpack the crucial role of self-focus in the healing process, challenging the notion that self-care equates to selfishness. Instead, we position it as a replenishing force, essential for one's own well-being and their ability to support others. Faith and spirituality also weave through our conversation, underscoring their capacity to fortify resilience and expedite the healing journey.

Approaching wellness holistically, this conversation flows into the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. We reflect on how health and wellness coaching transcends conventional symptom treatment, embracing a more collaborative and comprehensive approach toward personal growth and well-being. Discover how accountability is not just a buzzword but a cornerstone of achieving personal goals, and how integrating medical knowledge can address the root causes of lasting health. Each narrative shared in this episode serves as a beacon, guiding listeners through the complexities of trauma, grief, and loss, and illustrating the profound influence of personal coaching and the strength found in shared stories of adversity and triumph.

Get in touch with Tamara: Website

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome to the Bite Size podcast. I'm your host, lorraine Michaels, former EMT and nursing assistant, now business owner and wild entrepreneur. I walked away from over 15 years in medicine to pursue my passion and my God-given talents. Now I get the honor of helping other women discover their passions and purpose.

Speaker 2: 0:24

If you're feeling stuck in life, unsure where to go or what to do, welcome. If you're exactly where you want to be great, you're welcome here too. If you have faced any kind of hardship or setback, you have found a safe place here. In other words, no matter who you are or what you've been through or what you're going through, this is the space for you On the Bite Size podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:50

We'll discuss life, business and faith. There's something for everyone, so grab a cup of coffee and something to take notes with, because there will definitely be things you won't want to forget. Hello, welcome back to the Bite Size podcast. I'm your host, Lorraine Michaels, and today I have with me a new friend I've found online and I absolutely love her story and I have loved getting to know her and I can't wait to share her story with you. Today we have Tamara Fox, and she is another coach as well as speaker. We share a lot of similarities in what we talk about, coach about and how we help the world, so I would like to introduce to you Tamara, welcome.

Speaker 3: 1:44

Thank you, Lorraine, I appreciate it Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 1:47

So I would love for you to share with the audience who you are, what you do and how you came into the coaching and speaking and self-development realm.

Speaker 3: 2:00

Absolutely so. I am a certified health and wellness coach and I got into this space because of my life experiences. So I'm 32 today, so it's October 3rd 2023. I actually turned 32 last week on Friday, september 29th oh happy birthday.

Speaker 3: 2:17

Thank you, but when I was 19 years old so in 2011 I was asleep in my apartment in downtown Denver and I had woken up to a masked man standing over my bed with a gun. When I was 19 years old and he actually had the wrong apartment. He asked me. He said they told me there's a safe in here. How the wrong apartment?

Speaker 3: 2:38

I was 19, I worked in a restaurant, didn't have money and didn't have much of anything at that age, and he had the wrong apartment.

Speaker 3: 2:46

But he was unfortunately under the influence and definitely set up to do this job by whoever it was and, as a result, he had the wrong of having the wrong apartment. He did take some of my stuff, but also physically abused me, like dislocated my arm At points, had suffocated me because he kept a pillow over my face and he did rape me. So that was like the first of my traumatic events in my life. Like that was like the catapult and also probably one of the largest traumatic events I've ever been through. So that was May 2011. Shortly after that, my dad had been battling an opioid addiction for years and after my trauma, it got pretty bad. I think my trauma also impacted him from a mental health perspective as well, and he had become verbally abusive and was abusing opioids and heroin illegally. So I was dealing with that after and then, from the years of 2016 to 2022, I experienced seven deaths in six years, so it was this compressed series of trauma.

Speaker 3: 3:53

And especially at a very young age. I've found that most people I encounter and talk to have maybe a death that they experienced before the age of 30 or one traumatic event you know, an issue, an abusive parent but they typically don't have compounded trauma, especially at such a young age. And so I got into this because or got into coaching because I was working in human resources and I started in human resources when I was 20 because of what happened to me when I was 19. I wanted to help people. I knew I was entering the workforce with anxiety and PTSD and a lot of mental health things that I was gonna need support with, and so I spent years in human resources, developed my career that way, got into leadership development and culture work, which I still do with organizations. But I found that the true transformation came from that one-on-one space and that safe space to grow and I wasn't getting that in therapy. I was getting healing through therapy and things that I needed.

Speaker 3: 4:48

But I outgrew therapy pretty quickly and I found therapy was pretty cold and I felt very alone.

Speaker 3: 4:54

I hated how alone I felt when a therapist would look at me and be like I'm so sorry that happened to you, how do you feel and I'm like I feel awful, Of course, like I feel like crap. But they couldn't relate, they couldn't tell me stories, because that's how therapy works. And then, when I found coaching for myself personally, I was like this is what I wanna do. I always knew I wanted to help people, but it wasn't until I had to coach myself that I was like oh, I can help people in a very personal way and I also have been through enough that I can empathize with a lot. And if I can't empathize, I can only sympathize, because I know how hard it is to go through trauma, I know how hard it is to go through grief, I know how hard it is to have to grow and become a different person because of what you've been through. And that's really why I got into the coaching space and where I'm at today.

Speaker 1: 5:43

Yeah, wow, that is incredible.

Speaker 1: 5:47

Wow, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1: 5:48

I mean I don't wanna sound like your therapist, but I'm so sorry, like that is.

Speaker 1: 5:52

I cannot even imagine going through that, and like you can tell, in talking with you and interacting with you and the way you carry yourself, how much healing that you have gone through, and that's so powerful that you wanna help others because of the hurt that you experience, you wanna make sure that other people don't feel alone, and I absolutely I echo that, and by all means I'm not comparing trauma to trauma.

Speaker 1: 6:28

What I am saying, though, is I share that experience of having gone through a traumatic experience and getting on the other side of it and thinking, okay, I know I'm not the only one, and I know that there isn't the best help out there with therapy, because I totally hear you when you say on your website, when I was looking at it, how that you were just over the talk therapy and you outgrew it, and I have too in so many ways, and it's kind of hard going to therapy as a coach when sometimes, you're like, okay, this isn't working anymore, like you're not helping me, or they're even asking you, like not necessarily asking you questions, but they're like hey, are you taking any clients?

Speaker 1: 7:18

Like I have clients that could use you. And you're like okay, that's great, here's my card.

Speaker 1: 7:24

Yeah but yeah, I totally hear you in the sense of Sometimes you just outgrow the therapy and you need a coach and you need someone to walk with you through those hard times and to help you see past it and to navigate through those tough seasons. And I know like everyone faces challenging times and tough seasons in their life. What advice would you give to a woman who's currently going through a tough season and they're struggling to see the next step, to see the other side the light, if you will, at the end of the tunnel?

Speaker 3: 8:06

Yeah, well, the reason I actually went the health and wellness coaching route is because that's how I noticed the healing for me, like in the growth. So I think what I have found in my own healing journey, as well as my education and training, is that when we take care of ourselves, life changes. So if you're going through something difficult, oftentimes I found working with clients doing speaking engagements, facilitating workshops people stop caring for themselves. They put themselves aside or they can't even get out of bed when they can't do anything, and some days that's okay. Some days that's what you need is to not get out of bed and just stay there, but that can't be every day. So what the advice I always give is take care of yourself. Like what do you need? And that looks different for everyone. For me personally, I know you and I were talking about we both like working out and staying physically fit, and for me that's different than others. Some people would rather read a lot of books and immerse themselves in reading, and that's their form of like self care or self love, and but also honoring and giving your spouse self the space and grace for when you need to just lay in bed and not get out of bed. That that's okay. I found talking to so many people. They're like, oh, I didn't get out of bed today and, like they, they shame themselves, I should have done this. I should have done that. It's like you shouldn't have done anything. You did what you needed to do during that day, in that moment, and take it day by day. And take it moment by moment.

Speaker 3: 9:32

For me personally, I know when I have gone through traumatic things, I am very future oriented, which is probably why, again, I love coaching and I was like okay, I know I'm going to feel better in six months or eight months and I put these unrealistic timelines around what I'm going to feel a certain way or be a certain way, and I didn't stay present. So I also always encourage like stay present, don't focus so much on when you're going to feel better, how you're going to feel better. Focus on each day, one step at a time. What do you need in that day? It could look different tomorrow and giving yourself the tools and resources to get through it, like for me I.

Speaker 3: 10:05

I'm thankful I've been working with a coach for years. She happens to be a former therapist, so it works really well for me because of my history of trauma. But we do just strictly coaching. She's my own personal coach that I've I've hired and so for me I've, I continue working with her and when I'm going through things that are more difficult, I'll up my coaching sessions with her. Or I've noticed I will up my like workout routines or change up my schedule so that I can focus on myself a little bit more than I do regularly.

Speaker 1: 10:34

Yeah, yeah, I think that is so very important and that's something that I also coach about is self care, and it's becoming more of a topic where people are, you know, shining more light on it, because for so long it was selfish care, you know, if you it's selfish, if you, you know, take care of yourself and you know how dare you put yourself before everyone.

Speaker 1: 11:00

But something that I say all the time is you can't pour from an empty cup and so somehow some things, somewhere, you have to be getting poured into.

Speaker 1: 11:12

And I think a lot of times when people go through tough seasons or traumatic events or depression, anxiety, any of those things, they lose themselves, they stop taking care of themselves and then they forget, you know, they lose that connection with themselves of what actually brings you joy, you know and that's something that I walk through with my clients is what brings you joy, what, what it doesn't matter what it is.

Speaker 1: 11:42

Just be totally curious and non judgmental about it and figure out what it is that brings you joy, some of the simplest things you know, and do that and incorporate that in your life so that you can kind of get the ball rolling again and you start looking forward to things and excited about things, and then you know one thing will lead to another. It's it's not a fast journey by any means, but I think that is so very important is to find that and to get connected with that again. And a lot of times I mean I don't know if it's the same with you, but my faith has definitely played a very important role in that. Can you talk a little bit about your faith journey and how that's helped with your resilience and how that's been a part of your journey.

Speaker 3: 12:31

Yeah, so I'm spiritual. I'm definitely not religious, but for me the spirituality has been very helpful, especially in, like the death piece of knowing that those who I have lost are not gone. They're just no longer physically with us. So, knowing that, yes, I can still get signs from my brother or one of my best friends who was killed, they're still here, they can still show up in dreams and show up different ways, that's helped me to remember and realize there's more out there than just me.

Speaker 3: 12:58

And one thing you were sharing about like poor camp or from an empty cup, I say that all the time too, when people have asked me and come to me and said, like because I hear it all the time from family and friends and people, I know oh, you're so strong. I don't know how you do that. I don't know, like, how you maintain such a positive attitude and got through that or got through the experiences you have and how you do, how you're okay. The reason I'm okay is because I take care of myself. The reason I'm okay and the reason I can get through it and can be resilient is because I have been a little selfish and focusing on my own healing and growth and focusing on what I need in order to be the best version of myself, not only for me but for everybody around me, and to be able to show it for others.

Speaker 3: 13:36

Now that I am in a good place and you know I'm not dealing with a recent grief, I mean, my most recent one was just over a year ago, so it's still somewhat recent, but I'm not in the thick of it and I'm able to heal I've noticed I've been able to heal faster too, and I've encouraged this with my clients. I can heal faster because I take care of myself. I can get to that light at the end of the tunnel because I'm focusing so much on myself and my growth and my development. And that's not saying I shut out the rest of the world and my responsibilities. I maintain a job and pay my bills and take care of my dogs and maintain a relationship and have friendships, but I give myself exactly what I need and really focus on my own healing and growth, and I've noticed I get there quickly.

Speaker 1: 14:17

Yeah, yeah, talk to me a little bit about your framework, because I know everybody's different. I would assume that there's not just a structured plan with your coaching, and so how walk me through how you work with your clients and what you offer for them?

Speaker 3: 14:38

Yeah. So I'd say, as you know, like every client is very, very different and I have a consulting background. So when I was in HR, I went into consulting and I've spent years and most of my career in consulting and then also coaching. So I have this like blended approach almost of coaching and consulting, where I know my clients have the answers and resources but, given what I've gone through and my journey and just my experience, I'm also able to help give them resources and solutions as well.

Speaker 3: 15:06

So I always start with clients, as most coaches do, of just getting to know each other, like building that trust, first, making sure that I hear them for who they are and know what their goals are. And they drive the conversation with me. They set their goals, they tell me what they want to achieve. When they want to achieve it, I help hold them accountable if they want me to. Otherwise, they tell me who they want to hold accountable, them to hold accountable, but we look at them as the whole person. So with the health and wellness coaching, it's no matter what we're talking about. If they're talking about, okay, I want to improve my job or my career, we still look at everything else that's going to impact that.

Speaker 3: 15:40

So, what does their diet look like? What are their relationships look like? How are they taking care of themselves outside of work? What are they doing to develop and promote them, get themselves promoted within work or their career? How are they going to achieve that? So it's looking at the whole person. I oftentimes, too, with clients, will talk about things like have you gotten blood work done recently? Are we actually looking at ourselves from the inside out as well?

Speaker 3: 16:04

I'm not a doctor, I'm not a physician, but I can refer them to folks that I've worked with that I've seen success with, and we integrate that into part of the coaching that whole person coaching, whole person wellbeing. And when necessary, I'll say you know, listen, I think you should consider getting labs done. Or I know I battled a pretty severe gut issue that actually stemmed from a lot of trauma, because the mind-brain connection they say that a lot of gut issues actually come from trauma and other unresolved issues within our body that manifests since the physical ailments. Yeah, and so I have a lot of resources too that I can give clients when they're going through things, especially like health related. But when necessary I'll say let's, let's pull in somebody else and get their guidance and I'll be here with you to help you make sure you're achieving your other goals and you're achieving that goal. But sometimes we just need that extra expertise.

Speaker 3: 16:56

And the reason I was so big on focusing on that whole person is because, again, that's what helped me heal. That's where I've seen success with my clients. But I found that nobody else was doing that, at least that I was encountering. Therapists don't do that. They don't focus on that inside out approach.

Speaker 3: 17:11

Some coaches do I know that there are coaches that do that and health and wellness coaching is becoming larger. It's making a larger splash in the world. But that's really kind of like my approach. And sometimes with clients too, we'll do things like training topics because I can train and if they're wanting it, it depends on what it is. So, like there's clients if they're wanting to develop some leadership skills because I've been a leadership consultant and leadership coach they can train them on some things to help them get where they want to be from a leadership space. So I love that I have some versatility to flex and provide what they need. But I also ask them to kind of bring to the table and tell me what they want so that I can meet them where they're at.

Speaker 2: 17:55

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Speaker 1: 18:18

Symptom, not the root cause, and so I love the fact that you and I are in this space and really focus and concentrate on that. On the inside, like you said, working from the inside out and having that holistic approach and really helping people get to the root of the problem. I was writing down when you were go ahead.

Speaker 3: 18:45

Oh no, I was gonna say, and I never was in medicine like you were, but I had a similar. I have had similar or different experiences that brought me to the same place.

Speaker 3: 18:54

So my dad, being an opioid addict, made me very eerie of Western medicine because I saw what opioids did to somebody who was, at one point, like somebody who you would when you think of like success, like traditional definition of success great job, family you know all of that piece he was. He met that criteria and then opioids transformed his life for the worst. He got so addicted at one point he was almost homeless, as I shared. It made him verbally abusive. It essentially destroyed his physical and mental health for the worst due to opioids.

Speaker 3: 19:29

So and I, when I that was also at the same time that I had started taking prescriptions because of what happened to me in 2011, when I was 19. I needed prescriptions. I'm, by no stretch, anti-western medicine. I firmly believe they have a time and place but I was taking so many prescriptions and doing that and it helped me when I needed it then, but nobody was ever talking about what's the plan for the future. How are we gonna make sure we get you off of this and what's?

Speaker 3: 19:54

Like you said, I was treating symptoms. I was treating the inability to sleep. I was treating anxiety. I was treating flashbacks and awful PTSD and panic attacks. I wasn't finding a long-term solution for my health and wellbeing. So that's another reason I resonate with you, like I affirm believer that Western medicine has a place. I've had two surgeries, I've taken prescriptions in the past, but I wanna ensure that we're looking at like the root cause of things, which I think we find a lot through coaching and other modalities. You know blood work, I work with a naturopath who's really helped me heal issues and knowing that you can go the Western medicine route but it's not gonna give you that long-term relief and or you become dependent on it, and that's what I don't like.

Speaker 3: 20:40

So I resonate with you and like I've seen what Western medicine has done and I think there's so much power in what Western medicine can do when you need it. But that's not where I like to start with clients either. It's you know, there's so much you can do first to get to the root cause of issues, besides just treating symptoms.

Speaker 1: 20:58

Yeah, absolutely, 100%. I 100% echo and agree with what you're saying is yes, there's a place for it, absolutely, but it's not the end all be all and some people disagree. Some people would you know. I have high blood pressure, so I'm gonna take a high blood pressure medicine. I have high cholesterol. I'm gonna take a high cholesterol medicine and some people believe that, but I'm a very, very, very strong believer that everything is figure outable and our body heals itself.

Speaker 1: 21:26

Our body is designed and created, given the right nutrition and supplements. Our body is incredible and you know, like you said, getting lab work and figuring that out and finding out where the imbalances are and what can we do that's my first approach is what can we do naturally to fix this? Because there is something that we can do naturally and our body will kick back in into what it's supposed to do and designed to do. Yeah, I could go on for days about that one. So what do you absolutely love to do? Do you love to work one-on-one with people or do you like to do group coaching or in like a oh my gosh, I don't know why. I just drew blank on my words Corporate setting? What do you prefer to do?

Speaker 3: 22:22

I actually love it all. I love the one-on-one coaching because I always say that's like the micro impact, because it's a very you know it's a small scale, you're just one person, one-on-one but I've seen how transformative that can be and impactful that can be, both personally, like as with having my own coach and with the clients that I've coached. I love that. I do love facilitation and speaking engagements for larger groups, whether that's businesses I've had people sign up for like workshops that I'll do, or I've had groups just ask me like hey, we're hosting a women's event, can you come speak on resilience? Or come speak on, you know, healing, or healing through grief. So I love, I kind of love that both. I always say I love the macro and the micro.

Speaker 3: 23:01

I love the micro just one-on-one and the macro of working with organizations, groups of people, whatever that may be, because I found that for me, I'm at a place in the last few years that I can talk about my story. I can share how I've gone through this because I've healed through it. I'm not still in the thick of my healing, Whereas years ago I was still in the thick of my healing. I couldn't talk about it, I couldn't share stories, I wasn't in the right place to do that. And now that I am, I love it. And not only do I find that it's impactful to help people not feel alone and feel connected and relate and see that light at the end of the tunnel, but it's also been healing for me too, to talk about. The more I talk about it and share, I think, the stronger I get in the stories.

Speaker 1: 23:50

Oh gosh, I 100% agree with you. So can you talk to me a little bit about the significance and what had happened, the traumatic events?

Speaker 3: 24:00

Yeah, just go into a little bit more of what happened between 2011 and the other deaths I've experienced.

Speaker 3: 24:05

Yeah absolutely so. I shared briefly so in 2011,. That was when I was robbed at gunpoint. I was 19 years old and I was raped in my apartment. From that, I would say I was very, very lost in a lot of ways. I was in a lot of pain. I couldn't really live that normal college life that most people get to experience.

Speaker 3: 24:26

I know in the US it's always oh, college is the best four years of your life, and for me it was anything but that. For me it was. I was afraid to do anything alone. I was afraid to sleep. When I could sleep, I would wake up in panic attacks. So I was living in this, just this different space than everyone around me, and I also remember telling my friends about what had happened and they all looked at me like that's stuff you hear about on, like CSI or a crime show, like podcasts weren't a thing back then, but that's not something that you actually know happens to people you love and care about. So it was very I was very disconnected from everyone I knew and everyone I loved, because people didn't believe it was real.

Speaker 3: 25:04

And then, as I shared, my dad was a drug addict for years, but shortly after my trauma, his drug addiction had gotten really bad and he became very, very verbally abusive. He passed, actually in 2020. So, right when COVID started April 4th, 2020, and was unfortunately, he was actually clean, I'd say six or seven years prior to his passing and his life was coming around. So he, like, had taken a turn for the better, was remarried and then passed after. But then from 2016 to 2022, including my father, I had seven losses total. So I lost the grandparents on my mom's side who I was very, very close with, so her mother in 2016, her father, my grandfather in 2018, I lost my family and childhood dog.

Speaker 3: 25:50

I think that was 2019 or 2018. And then 2020 was my father. 2021 was the dog I had gotten after my trauma in 2011 for security. 2022, then was my brother and one of my best friends or one of my brothers, because I have four total and then one of my best friends. So I always count the dogs as part of the losses, because I've found, working with many people, losing a pet is just as difficult as losing anyone else in your life. So it was that seven losses in six years and it was besides, I think, 2017, it was basically every. It was at least one a year.

Speaker 3: 26:27

And then in 2022 was obviously two. So just series of trauma, series of grief. I mean, I find grief and trauma are very similar to heal through.

Speaker 1: 26:39

So what was I mean? I know in healing there's many facets of what works, but is there anything that you can pinpoint to help you with the grief and the loss and the trauma? Was there anything that just Was the aha moment, or this is this you can pinpoint. This is where the healing took place. This is what made a difference. This is how I got past it.

Speaker 3: 27:11

Yeah, I would say it wasn't until probably that I think, going back to what I said about that like whole person healing, that's when I noticed I was actually really healing and growing. So I've said this before that like what happened to me in 2011 almost prepared me for everything else that has happened in my life from a traumatic place. I, looking back at like 2011 timeframe, 2012, I did everything that like you are told to do when you go through something traumatic. I went to therapy, I did EMDR, I went to like a victims advocacy thing, I was under on prescription, so like they tell you, like all of like kind of that quote unquote, traditional stuff you're supposed to do when you go through something, and I was just following the motions.

Speaker 3: 27:55

I didn't know any better. It's what I needed. I was as I said. I was very lost and I felt very disconnected from everyone and everything around me.

Speaker 3: 28:03

But then all of the other deaths that I or all of the deaths that I experienced from 2016 to 2022, I noticed that I came out of that a little bit quicker as far as my healing went. That doesn't mean I don't still get upset and don't cry thinking about like my brother or one of my best friends that was killed, but I found that I was able to cope with it quicker because, for me, it was that trauma taught me how to like heal. It taught me how to get through whatever's handed to me that's outside of my control, and it taught me that I'm going to have to either get bitter or better. I'm going to have to be bitter that it happened and stay in the trauma and stay in that chaos is a word I constantly use or I can get better. I can be the best version of myself because I can't control what happened to me and I can continue to live my life in the best way possible, regardless of what happened to me.

Speaker 1: 28:57

And.

Speaker 3: 28:57

I've just used that same mindset as I've encountered all of the deaths from 2016 to 2022. So when my brother died, for example, I shared with you. He was hit by a car in March of 2022. He was 25 years old. He was hit by a car, so he was very young. No explanation for it. It was one of those things we'll probably never have an answer for. The driver wasn't drunk. The driver wasn't texting. The driver was a sober driver with his family in the vehicle.

Speaker 1: 29:25

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3: 29:26

So it was like one of those things. That is like I live in Colorado. There's people that constantly hit wildlife here because you can't you know they're in the corner of your car.

Speaker 3: 29:36

You can't see them. It was one of those kind of freak things that happened my brother there's so many things we'll never have answers for with him but when he passed, it was I kept that bitter or better mindset in a different way. It was what would Isaac want me to do? So Isaac was one of the happiest, kindest, most loving people I've probably ever met. I've actually done full podcast episodes just talking about him because of the light he spread in this world. And I thought of it as like Isaac wouldn't want me to be sad. Isaac wouldn't want me to sit here not living my life to the fullest. And how did Isaac live his life? Isaac lived his life to the fullest. He was happy, he was doing what he loved all the time. So that's kind of that approach I took. It was that same bitter or better mentality, but also thinking about the person I had lost when it come to grief. So Isaac would, what would Isaac want for me and what would Isaac want me to continue to do? So I think that's kind of the two approaches I've encouraged people to take.

Speaker 3: 30:32

I've talked with people taking is, if it's trauma and it's personal trauma. You have to heal through it and then you get to make that choice. People always tell me they're my one of my brothers, my older brother actually I have one older brother and three younger includes, including Isaac and my older brother always says to me he's like oh well, you should be more messed up than you are, given what has happened to you. He kind of makes a joke about it because he's sarcastic. And I've heard that in different ways from different people and my response is yeah, but I made a choice to not still be in my trauma. I made a choice to heal. I made a choice to be better. I made a choice to do the hard work so I can be where I'm at today and to help other people.

Speaker 1: 31:11

Yeah, yeah, that's so powerful and it is. It is hard work. I mean it's yeah, it's hard work because you can take the easy way, the easy route, and just live in the funk and the misery and and the yuck and play that victim mentality, or you can decide that you know you have a choice and that that, and in of itself, is empowering. You know you have a choice to heal through this and there are resources and there are people that are here for you and wanna help you get through this and wanna see you flourish and be the best, biggest, brightest version of yourself that you could possibly be. But it takes work. It takes a lot of work and intentionality and gumption. You know what I mean. So, as we're wrapping up, I wanna know one is there anything that you're working on? Any new launches, book podcasts, coaching, speaking events, anything? I wanna know what's going on. How can we connect with you?

Speaker 3: 32:20

Yeah, so I have their live events in Colorado. So for any of your listeners who are in Colorado, I am hosting two workshops that are just individual signup, not company, and I call them CARE workshops.

Speaker 3: 32:32

So the acronym CARE is for Connection, awareness, resilience, empowerment oh I, love that and I'm hosting one in October and one in November and I'm hoping to be able to do a virtual version coming up. But the whole purpose of it is for connection and I feel that we're losing so much of that in-person connection and I have done and I'm open to doing those similar workshops with companies or a group if they are located somewhere outside of Colorado. I can and have done those with other groups, but since I've been in Colorado, I host them here. And then I am working on two books. Actually it will probably be.

Speaker 3: 33:07

It's a long process. I'm not. I love speaking, I have a blog and writing is not as much of my passion and I'm trying to get better about it, but I love sharing. So one of the books is gonna be about my life and my story and, just like around the topics we've talked about resilience, healing, overcoming trauma and then the other book is gonna be on grief. So, with seven losses in six years, I think you can write about that.

Speaker 3: 33:34

I wanna write a book on grief, so that's the other. So that will be in the very far future, but hopefully next five years. And then I'm not doing a podcast, even though I've been told I need to do a podcast, but I do do. I keep on my website, which is awakenemparamentcom. I keep all of my links to events that I will be attending or speaking at and I keep links to podcast episodes They've been on. If there are other episodes they wanna check out, that's where all my events are as well, like the workshops that I'm hosting, and then that's where there's more information on my coaching. I always say I'm the worst millennial because I don't love social media and I just use my website to manage a lot of like.

Speaker 3: 34:12

I know we've met through that Facebook group but I don't have like a business Facebook. It's just not my passion or where I find the best connections for like promoting stuff and I've found some great podcasting connections there but as far as promoting my business, I stick to just my website and my speaking and my events.

Speaker 1: 34:33

Wonderful. Okay, so I'll make sure to link that in the show notes. So that is the way to contact you. Is your website? Yes, perfect, I love it. And I love that you were talking about your books, because the more you talk about it and put it out there, the more that's gonna happen. Yes, and when we talk about it, we bring about it. So that's amazing. I love it.

Speaker 1: 34:57

Tamara, thank you so much. Thank you for sharing, thank you for your vulnerability, thank you for what you're doing in the world and how you're helping people. I think it's a beautiful thing and it's like I said, it's very, very difficult to walk that road and talk about it and relive it, but it's so healing and I love what you're doing and I pray that you'll be blessed and encouraged and I'm excited for what's coming for you and to you and involving you. So, everybody, thank you for listening to another episode on the Bite Size podcast and if this has resonated with you or you think someone needs to hear it, please share and definitely go find Tamara on her website. I will link that in the show notes. Thank you again and we'll see you on the next episode of Bite Size podcast. Thank you.